4 Habits that Ruin Relationships and How to Overcome Them
Ones thoughts lead to habit and habits lead to character and our character determines who we turn out to be. Our character is what determines and influence our actions over time. most of the habits are helpful while the rest are not. As we enter into relationships with people, we carry these habits into the relationship.
It is these habits that determine whether your relationship will endure and stand the test of time. In this article we are going to consider the top 4 negative habits that ruin relationships. Afterwards we would proffer solutions to help you overcome these habits if you have them.
Everyone is susceptible to these habits whether you are in a married, engaged, dating or single, you are not immune to bad habits tha might unconsciously develop if left unchecked. Chances are that you could be guilty of one or two of these. Notwithstanding, let us go into details and bring solutions your way.
There are many habits that can ruin relationships but however, we chose to bring only 4 to you. Our belief is that, if you could handle these 4, you are already in relationship bliss. Have you heard of “Happily ever after…?”
Habits #1– Involving Third Parties
Have you ever heard it being said that “relationships involves 3 persons – God and the two of you?” You read that right. Relationship is between two consenting adults. As such, issues concerning the relationship must be handled by the two partners involved.
It becomes dangerous when you or your partner brings in “outside influence” to settle your relationship. It is a dangerous habit to always run to family members, friends and another external force to settle your relationship issues.
To overcome this, you and your partner must agree on who will settle your issues (if it gets out of hand). It could be your Pastor, mentor or anybody you jointly agree to bring in. Whomever you choose, must be someone you both agree with, one with the required character and competence to help you out.
Habits #2 – Bringing Up Past Issues
It is said that misunderstandings, when properly handled, can be a blessing in disguise to relationships. However, most partners always refer to past issues when having a misunderstanding. Once you offend them, they remind you of how you did what in the past. Some would also quote the dates and venues. This is a relationship killer.
Whatever you have settled before should not be brought up again. It is already past and should be left in the past. If you are having difficulty apologizing to your partner, you may need to read how to apologize effectively.
Habits #3 – Taking Each Other For Granted
Life is such an irony: people value what they have only when they lose it. This is a very easy habit to slide into if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. You take to forget the sacrifices each other has made to bring you to where you are presently. As an effect, you laugh at them when they are telling you something serious.
This is because you know “he/she will forgive; she always forgives” etc. The moment you begin to take each other for granted, you begin to lose commitment and focus. Your partner will become like “every other person”. Consequently, you take them and their words lightly. This must be avoided.
Habits #4 – Lack Of Appreciation/compliments
The last of our top 4 negative habits that ruin relationships is the lack of appreciation. What engine oil is to a car, such is appreciation to a man. Humans are driven by appreciation. We all thrive on it. Take appreciation away from a man, you deny him/her vitality.
Many relationships are weakened today by lack of appreciation. The little but consistent efforts of your partner must be appreciated. Never take their actions for granted. Learn how to say “thank you”, “you are doing a nice job by taking care of the kids”, “without your footing the bill, I don’t know what I’d had done”. Words like these have its way of lifting up humans and keeping them motivated to do more.
The above habits and tips on how to overcome them is meant to help have a stable relationship that will bring you joy and happiness. Remember there are many other habits you display your partner might not like, it is your duty to be sensitive to know what they desire. In as much as you are trying to be the perfect lover do not forget to be yourself.