This question arises as a result of infidelity and fraud in paternity. Medical science and scientists have the solution which is through what is known as DNA paternity test.
DNA Paternity test is the use of DNA profiles to determine who’s the real parent (Father) of an individual is. Paternity test is an emotive and contentious area of consent. Professional societies agree that all involved parties need to consent, but this may not be possible in the case of children. Court orders for paternity testing are straightforward, but disputes occur when a putative father takes a sample from the child for paternity testing without the consent of the child or the mother. This biological sample does not have to be blood, but might be shed hair follicle or an object from which DNA can be extracted.
WHY PATERNITY TEST?
A lot has been happening lately about DNA test results and marital infidelity of women. Some people have gone ahead to list causes why wives cheat. Some say for money, sexual gratification and all what’s not. But that’s hardly true.
But let me tell you a story that my patient once narrated to me in a pool of tears. May God rest her soul. She was married to a young man whom she described as loving, caring and ambitious. Then they lived in Lagos. Three months to their wedding, she had returned from a travel to her village and found out that her fiance wasn’t at home. She tried his number many times but couldn’t reach him. He didn’t tell her she was travelling. It was the first time ever and it made her mad. All she could think of was that he was with another woman. To get back at him, she decided to do a one-night stand with a man she never met before, despite she had the key to her fiance’s apartment. Sunken deep in vengeance, she claimed she didn’t realise that the man had pulled of the condom midway in their act.
Her fiance returned two days later and apologised that he had to travel home on a short notice to sort out a land dispute. He explained that he made attempts too to call her but couldn’t reach her. He blamed her for not informing him that she would return to Lagos that day. Long story cut short, they reconciled. Everything became smooth again but the man never knew what his fiance had done.
They got married three months later and she became sick shortly after. It was initially persistent cough, then strange rashes until she began to lose weight. She had gone to the hospital two times until the third time when the doctor told her that she tested positive to HIV. She didn’t believe it. Her husband didn’t believe it too. Her husband tested negative, and that offered them more grounds to doubt the doctor. They wondered how she could test positive while her husband with whom she sleeps with almost every day tested negative. They didn’t know about discordant couples in HIV/AIDS.
She resorted to herbal drugs as every other hospital said the same thing until her situation became worse and landed in our facility where we found out that she already had HIV nephropathy. Meaning the disease had caused her kidneys to fail. She had a few sessions of haemodialysis but died later.
So here’s my point. A cheating wife will always cheat even for the most trifling of reasons. Give her overdose of sex and she would go out where she can have it less. Give her money and riches in addition and she would want to see how it feels to sleep with a poor boy who would call her Madam. Quarrel with her, refuse her anything, miss her call for once, and she cheats. Do her absolutely nothing, and she will still cheat on you and bear you children that are not yours. A cheating wife always cheats.
The most important predisposing factors for a cheating wife is her upbringing (family), the company she keeps (friends) and her moral compass. It has little or nothing to do with how she is treated by her husband. Hence any man who discovers that his wife is cheating should simply divorce her. A cheating wife is a killing wife. And any woman who feels she can’t cope in her marriage should also divorce the husband. It’s the right thing to do. No one can have it all in one man or woman. But if a woman feels she can have it all, then she should have no business with marriage. She should consider being a sex worker and test as much men as she wants.
However, beyond these shameful and scaring stories, I want you to know that there are a lot of good and faithful women and young girls out there who would never under any circumstance cheat on their spouse. A woman I know stayed down here in Nigeria for 6 years while her husband toiled hard in Europe so the family could beat poverty and live comfortably. She didn’t cheat neither did she misbehave. Today she reaps the fruit of her faithfulness and perseverance. Many women have sacrificed far more. If your woman is good, trust her. The sad truth is that only the bad eggs make it to the news creating the false impression that all women are cheats.
Finally, no marriage ever has it all. Most problems in marriages can be solved if only the partners are open and both committed to fixing it. But it’s worthy to have your children do DNA tests especially if you suspect any ground of suspicion. And whatever the result becomes and what you decide after, please protect the children. They’re innocent of such despicable act.
May the wrong partners never cross our paths. Amen!